Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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