I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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