Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
