i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
