I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
