Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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