I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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