if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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