i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize