The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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