Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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