I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He has the fingertips of a God
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
