Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
