we have officially lost it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
