vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
