I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
