my phone needs a breathalizer
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
