Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She told me I should be a condom model.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
