Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
