I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
