Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mmmbad hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...

Fav 21 8967 1505
share tweet
(808): View more from Hawaii

you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe

Fav 4 4684 1180
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor

Fav 8 2838 1790
share tweet
(587): View more from Alberta

Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol

Fav 4 1382 730
share tweet
(707): View more from California

Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.

(425): View more from Washington

I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.

Fav 3 1030 778
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.

Fav 0 442 603
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.

Fav 0 351 547
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

We'll discuss it when you get here

Fav 0 46 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(224): View more from Illinois

She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.

Fav 0 60 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT