wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
