great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
