I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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