you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
