hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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