It's like God shit irony all over that family
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
