If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
