Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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