so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
