We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
40s are totally the cure
Randomize
