Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
