hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
