have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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