Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
