Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
