fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize