last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize