a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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