then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
