Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
