I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
