i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
two words: eviction party
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
