Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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