Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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