well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
