I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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