Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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