I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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