thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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