Sry I called you an 8
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
