Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
