My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
