YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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