Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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