Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i think i scared a bird with my dick
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
