and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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