The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
