How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
