Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize