That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
