I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
