I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
