omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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