i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
