she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
