so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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